Poem – Where Are You

Where Are You?

Are you here?
Next to me?
Beside me, above me?
Where should I look?

Are you in the sky?
Should I look up?
Do you ride the moon?
Where should I look?

Are you the ocean?
Every crashing wave?
If I stare deep enough?
Where should I look?

Are you in my soul?
Breath in my lungs?
Beating in my heart?
Where should I look?

Are you nowhere?
Have you truly gone?
Completely, completely, completely?
Where should I look?

Please, please tell me




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8 thoughts on “Poem – Where Are You”

  1. Hi,

    Have also been touched by suicide. Know all too well how much pain you are in right now. Don’t know how far along you are in the healing process but never forget that the person who passed away loved you very much. Don’t be angry with them, they were not well when making that terrible decision.

    1. Hi,
      Thank you for your message. It has only been just under seven weeks since I lost my partner. Luckily I am not angry with him, I understand that he felt it was the best thing to do. He was at peace with his decision and I need to make my peace with it too.
      I am sorry to hear that you have suffered too. I hope that your journey is going as well as it can.

  2. Hi Cadi

    It’s been sixteen years since my father passed away. I promise that one day you will be at peace with your partner’s decision. The love you have for him will always be there and take comfort from the fact he is still with you every single moment of the day.
    No matter what emotions you may experience in the coming weeks you are not alone. People, such as myself, who have experienced the same pain are on hand ready to help.


    1. That’s is very kind of you, thank you. I am trying to keep as busy as possible at the moment and take on challenges to keep occupied.
      It is hard to fill the hours I would have spent with him but I want to do him proud.
      I am so sorry that you lost your Dad in this way. I know my partners daughter suffers greatly from not being able to call her Dad up any more.
      It is wonderful to know that, even in the darkest times, there are people out there willing to reach out and comfort each other.

      1. Remaining busy is the best therapy but make sure you allow for time to grieve. Fill each day with moments which will bring you feelings of joy and achievement.
        Your blog is brilliant. I wouldn’t have been able to structure my thoughts into prose in the immediate period after losing my dad – was quite literally deranged by pain and anger.
        If you haven’t done so already contact CRUSE and Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide.


      2. Thank you. The blog is a kind of therapy for me. I find my feelings build up inside me and writing them down is a release. It has also helped my friends and family to know what I am thinking.
        I have been to my first S.O.B.S. meeting and found it very helpful.
        Do you cope better now with the pain?

      3. Most of the time I am able to cope with the pain. It will always be there but have learnt to live with it. Anniversaries are very hard as are things I know that my father has missed out on. When my nieces were born I was angry that my dad had missed out on seeing grandchildren.
        Even after all this time I have to avoid certain songs or films because they’ll reopen wounds. You’ll find a coping strategy that works and then life will continue.

      4. I really hope so. I tried to listen to my I pod yesterday and got about three songs in before I had to turn it off!
        They always say you are never ready to lose a parent but losing one when you are young must be especially hard. Thank you again for taking the time to write to me. I hope that I can help others too.
        Take care

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